Michael wants to wear a bio-hazard suit for Halloween, which is cool, of course, but it leaves me with the question of what I can now dress up as that would be suitable accompaniment. I’ve thought of three things so far.

1. A Zombie

I’m a big Resident Evil fan, so naturally when I think of bio-hazards, I think of the T-virus and those bastards at Umbrella Corp. Oh, the humanity! So, anyway, a zombie.

Downside to this is wearing funky make-up all night that will melt off my face and into my eyes. Make-up in my eyes makes me scream even louder than an insatiable appetite for human flesh.

2. Claire Redfield or Jill Valentine

Both are Resident Evil characters. I could do either.

Drawback here is that I might have to spend most of my evening explaining my costume. Half of the people I explain it to won’t even understand after I explain it, but, they’ll pretend to get it even though they don’t, and then they’ll avoid me for the rest of the night. In spite of that, I like this idea the best.

3. Cher’s character in Silkwood.

Michael would have to wear a radiation suit instead of the bio-hazard suit, but I love this idea. Only thing better would be if I had a third party to be Meryl Streep. Any volunteers? Actually, I have the nose already without using putty, so maybe I should be Streep.

What do you folks think? I’m open to other suggestions too, of course. Anything but Raggedy Andy will be considered.