I’m considering giving up my morning cup pot of coffee. I blame the coffee for the fact that I can no longer follow a single thought for longer than three seconds without it running away screaming. So, I’m going to give up my highly caffeinated coffee and replace it with ginkgo biloba tea or whatever that herb tea is that’s supposed to make you less stupider.

The time is right for me to be a little less stupider.

I tell you this for a reason. I’ve started to write approximately fifteen different posts for this site and given up on all of them. My brain walks away after two paragraphs, and I’m left sitting at my keyboard heckling myself as I attempt to piece a few more sentences together.

After several false starts, I give up writing for the day. My inner heckler wins the battle of wits and I skulk away.

Speaking of skulking, you know who’s got it easy?

Zombies.

Sure they’re mindless reanimated corpses but at least they’re happy. It’s not like they’re aware that they aren’t all they could be. Give a zombie a screaming, slow moving, half-clothed woman and he’s content. There’s no inner struggle on his part, no worrying about consequences. He has no agenda, political or otherwise. He just eats brains whenever he can get ‘em. That’s all.

What a life.

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It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. No, it was a lot closer to the worst of times. It was the 80′s. Ten years of bad music and bad hair. Ack.

And yet, if the 80′s hadn’t proved themselves so atrociously lacking in providing anything substantial for me to listen to, I might never have discovered Beethoven.

Well, ok, I didn’t exactly discover Beethoven. It’s not like I became his road manager or anything. But, I’d have been a good one. Tough and no-nonsense yet caring. “Ludwig, I made you and I can break you if I have to, but neither of us wants that. So, stop whining and get out there and shake your money maker or whatever it is you do.”

I digress. The real story is that there are three former record store clerks who, if prompted, might have a vague recollection of a red-haired girl singing Ode to Joy to them. Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum DUM DUM.

See I had heard the song and loved it but didn’t have a clue what it was called. So, I took my act to various record stores until I finally got my hands on the right cassette. It took me three performances to yield the proper result. The first time I sung it, the clerk sold me the wrong Beethoven album. But, after listening to it and being disappointed, I went right out the next day and tried my luck again. This time, I sung to a clerk who shrugged his shoulders and said, “I bet So and So knows what that is. Sing it for him.” So, I sung it for So and So. Sure enough, So and So knew his Beethoven and sold me the right album.

I guess if I have a point here, it’s that I’m still not very knowledgeable* about classical music. Chances are I’ll recognize the melody and I’ll be able to tell you if I like that particular version, but I won’t know what the song is called.

Does this minor musical affliction of mine matter in the grand scheme of things? Well, no. But, I bet the folks who work at music stores simply despise nimrods like me, and I can’t really blame them for it. For all I know, the guys I sung to in the 80′s still can’t listen to Beethoven and keep a straight face.

*However, I did have a rather glowing moment a couple of days ago. Jules mentioned Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini by Rachmaninov, and I knew exactly which song she was talking about. Yes, I actually knew both the tune and it’s name for a change, because the music was a key element in an excellent chick flick called Somewhere in Time.

First, a big ol’ thank you to Scott-san at Kamikaze Lunchbreak for sending me a cool mix cd. It shall be my driving music for the upcoming week. I was especially thrilled to see “Wait” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs included in the mix; I’m in love with Karen O’s voice. Anyhow, I’m trying to come up with an appropriate way to say thanks that doesn’t involve me sending a mix cd back as I’m sure he would not be thrilled with a compilation made by Yours Truly. But, I’m putting thought into this matter and I’m certain I’ll think of something.

As to the rest of you, I do have A REAL POST in the works, and I’ll put it up tomorrow.

Until then, adieu. Be good everybody. Somebody has to, and it ain’t gonna be me.