Charlotte got her own phone as one of her Christmas presents. They are installing her line in a couple of days. It will have three-way calling. It will have call-waiting. It may just save my sanity.

It just hit me how relieved I’m gonna be when they get the new line put in. I’m not much of a phone person, really, but the situation now is pretty much this:

You want to make a call? Fine. The phone is in use. The phone is always in use. So, you’ll have to walk upstairs and tell Charlotte to please get off the phone for a minute so that you can make a quick call. Then, you’ll need to stupidly walk back downstairs, thinking she might have actually listened to you. A moment or two later, you will still be standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her to say, “Gotta go.” The words will never come. By the time you finally realize those words are not coming, you’ll know WAY more than you ever wanted to know about who has a crush on whom in Charlotte’s 5th grade class. Then it will be time to project your meanest parental voice back up the stairs and SHOUT, “Charlotte, I told you I need to use the phone. Tell her you’ll call her back, and HANG UP NOW.” After another 30 seconds or so of hee-hawing, Charlotte will hang up.

Congratulations, you have completed the requirements for using the phone! Enjoy!

I’ve been spending some time with old friends – namely George Bailey, Kris Kringle, and a little kid named Ralphie. I’ve also been visiting with some real-life friends and relatives, and as a result I experienced the jolliest of holidays. Hope you did the same.

I don’t have any good stories for you at the moment, but I do have a little meme that comes to us via Dayment who was my official holiday cheermeister this year. (She sent groovy homemade candy, and it could not possibly be more gone than it is. Thanks again, Stace.)

Three names you go by:
Debbie, Deborah, Bitch

Three screennames you have:
Heatmiser, Migli, Annme

Three things you like about yourself:
My sense of humor, my integrity and my ghostly palor.

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. My inability to bluff at poker.
2. What’s left of my shyness. (I’ve been phasing it out for many years, but I still have insecure moments.)
3. My temper.

Three parts of your heritage:
German, Jewish, a tiny bit of Cherokee.

Three things that scare you:
1. Ok, this one is fairly specific. It’s also a recurring nightmare I have: I’m in a car on a bridge when the bridge collapses. The car is slowly filling up with water and I can’t get out of it. Eventually I drown there in the cold darkness at the bottom of the river.
2. Waterbugs.
3. Tight spaces, but only in certain instances.

Three of your everyday essentials:
Car keys, lip balm, hand lotion. That’s about it.

Three things you are wearing right now:
Green sweatpants, a pink and grey striped shirt, and my wedding ring.

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
I dunno. I’m not excited about any band or artist in particular, but I am psyched that I’m getting satellite radio as a belated Christmas present from my hubby. By the way, does anyone have satellite radio already? If so, do you know if Sirius or XM is better? I’m still debating with myself as to which to get, so I’d appreciate any feedback you might have.

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Satellite radio
2. Knitting a sweater
3. Babysitting my new nephew.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Michael x 3

Two truths and a lie (random order):
I love sauerkraut.
I hate shopping.
I hate shopping for sauerkraut.

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:
Eyes, hands, hair.

Three things you just can’t do:
Roller-skate, ski or ice-skate. Basically, anything that requires balance or coordination is out. I continue to attempt these things, but I may never actually “do” them in a manner which does not incite laughter.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Logic puzzles, knitting, writing.

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Get a cup of hot tea, drink a cup of tea, crawl into bed.

Three careers you’re considering:
The word “career” sounds so permanent. I prefer short, snappy phrases like “part-time help” and “temporary seasonal help.”

Three places you want to go on vacation:
I’d like to take a cruise sometime. I don’t care where the boat is going so long as Gopher brings me my margarita promptly and with salt around the edge of the glass.

Three kids names:
Charlotte, Elise, Jessica.

Three things you want to do before you die:
Skydive, live about 30 more years, see a
ll 50 states.

Three people who have to take this quiz, or not:
Hurts too much to think. Does anyone want to play? Jim?

The rest of the snow arrived. It wasn’t quite the 12 inches the weather folks predicted, but it was enough to shut down Charlotte’s daycare and keep me home and enough to keep Michael from attempting to get out of the driveway. Woo hoo!

So, after bundling up for a full 45 minutes, we drug our cheap plastic sled to the nearest hill two blocks from our house and slid down it for a much shorter time than 45 minutes. It was basically miserable. BUT, if you discount the fact that it was almost impossible to walk up the hill in the heavy snow – and you also exclude the part where Charlotte got one of her fingers wet and immediately started whining that she was getting “frostbite” – and you throw out the bit where we were all tired and cold and grumpy at the end – it was a rockin’ good time.

By next year, I’ll only remember the three seconds of fun we had sliding down the hill and I’ll be dressing the family up warm and making them both go with me again. Whether they like it or not.

We’re getting some winter weather here. I’m loathe to admit it, but I panicked a bit. At about 11 this morning, I left work to pick up my daughter from daycare. The roads were really bad at the time, and I thought the longer I waited to pick her up, the worse the situation would get.

So, I drove around in the nastiest part of the day and almost slid off the road a couple of times. I also only narrowly avoided hitting an Acura. It was sitting nonchalantly at a stoplight, minding it’s own business, never knowing the snow-tireless danger that lurked behind it. That driver couldn’t possibly guess just how close he came to having my Honda in his backseat.

Anyway, I basically drove around in blizzard conditions. Then I got home and it immediately STOPPED snowing. Just to make me feel like a dumbass for not staying at work! I might as well put on my dunce cap and go buy perishables as I am now officially one of THOSE people.

It’s supposed to start snowing again shortly. By the time this is over, we might have 12 inches on the ground. Yay!

In spite of my driving woes, I’m actually kinda thrilled about that prospect.

See, the other day, I had the foresight to go out and buy a squeaky-cheap plastic sled. I even got it in red so that the blood won’t show. I’m always thinkin’.

Michael isn’t quite as enthusiastic about it as I am. By “isn’t quite as enthusiastic” I mean, of course, that he isn’t even mildly interested in it. As soon as he saw it, he began whining that it doesn’t have a rope attached to it. It cost $8.99! We’re lucky it has a bottom!

What an ingrate!

But, don’t worry. He’ll come around.

I dunno. Maybe he had visions of dragging Charlotte in a sled. I didn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not Tiny Tim. If I’m walking in a foot of snow, she can too.

God bless us. Every one. Watch out for that tree!

I volunteered to make a bean salad for the company Christmas party. I’m having second thoughts about my choice. It actually took me half an hour to make, but it looks too easy. My fear is that people will be directing sarcastic thoughts at me all day.

“The file clerk girl opened some cans. Whoa. Hope she didn’t strain herself.”

I might as well call it “Lazy Bitch Bean Salad.”

I’m so gosh darn tired that I’m using the phrase “gosh darn tired” which sounds gosh darn stupid but I don’t gosh darn care. Darn. And. Gosh. Mix and match them. It’s fun.

Anyway, I’m way too tired to even think about posting anything thoughtful or useful, which, in truth, isn’t much different from usual, but let’s all pretend that’s not the case just to be nice.

I’ve been doing some Christmas shopping, and decorating and card writing and wrapping presents and baking. Unfortunately, I haven’t put even the slightest dent in the “Endless List of Holiday Shit I Gotta Do.”

Even as I type this, I’m feeling guilty for spending two minutes doing something that is not specified on the “Endless List of Holiday Shit I Gotta Do.”

Gotta go. Darn. Gosh.