Pillow talk:

Me - Aw, c’mon. How dumb do you think I am?

Michael, purposely ignoring the rhetorical nature of the question - Very dumb. I think I could bring in a rock to replace you.

Me, calling his bluff - Oh, yeah? Well, why don’t you go find a rock then?

Michael - I just might.

Me - Good luck finding a pretty one.

Michael - It doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to cook.

Me, caressing his stomach - I see. But, what about my other wifely duties?

Michael - You don’t have any other wifely duties. I can always just write “headache” on the rock.

Uproarious laughter ensues.

*He’d have to be far boulder than he is.